What My Mom Taught Me About Parenting

Here’s something that I had been meaning to write for a while, but I had been so caught up that I just did not have the time to sit down and pour down my feelings and write this article. In the last month or so, my life has changed a lot. I’ve met and bonded with newer people and have come to realize the different perspectives of life. I’ve come to realize how lucky I am in certain aspects of my life. I’ve become very grateful of how certain things happened in my life, and how it shaped me. But more than anything, I’ve realized how lucky I am to have the most understanding parents I have. And that’s exactly what I want to write about today.

Mom and Me
Mom & I, Durga Puja 2016

I’ve always been very close to my parents, especially with my mother. I’ve told her everything about my life – from my first kiss to my first boyfriend, to my first heartbreak and beyond. She is always updated about my life, and we’re extremely transparent in our relationship. She can be extremely vulnerable with me, and so can I. It’s a two-way street. I know that I can always tell her things, and she knows that she can. Yet, we have our privacy. People keep asking me “Why do you tell everything to your mother?” I think it’s because she opened that gateway ever since I was a kid. I was never intimidated by her presence, nor had I ever put her up on a pedestal. She had never laid a hand on me (EVER, except once when I was being an eccentric 20-year-old). I’ve never had to lie to her. She and dad had always given me enough freedom to do whatever I wanted to, in my life. In return, I always knew where to draw the line. That mutual respect was always there. I had friends asking me to party late and lie to mom stating that I was busy “doing a project” and I always turned it down. Not because I was a saint, but because I knew the right from wrong. Trust takes years to build, and attending a party was surely not worth it.

Mom Dad Me
Mom, Dad and I

I know, each parent is different and so is each child. There’s no universal way of parenting. But, I’d like to think that I grew up fine, without lying, strictness, and tantrums. So did my sister. We know that we can make mistakes and that we can simply come back home and cry our hearts out to our parents. The world doesn’t care. The people that you consider your friends are not going to be there forever. I don’t understand the “My friends are my family” concept. I really don’t. Yes, there was a phase I felt out of place. There was a time in my life where I thought that everyone else except my parents and my sister cared for me. We all have that phase of rebellion. I’m not proud of that. In that phase, I did complain about them to my “friends” but I was proved wrong.

To the sons and daughters out there, yes, your parents might have been strict at some point in time, but give them a chance. As you grow up, work towards changing that relationship. Involve them in your lives, try spending an evening without your phone, and with your dad – talking about things. Spend an afternoon chatting away with your mom. Watch them smile. They care. It’s just that they’ve stopped expressing because they know that you’re growing up and that you have your own lives.

To all the parents, hear them out! They have a lot to say. Let them make their own mistakes and let them fall. Just make sure that they come running back home, and not elsewhere. Elsewhere is a risky place to be, and I’m sure that you know it better than I do. Involve your kids in the decisions you make. Trust them, and their decisions too. Stop making them feel that they’re still kids and an imbecile lot. Stop comparing them to others. Let them open up.

It’s a two-way street, and I’ve seen shallow relations between kids and parents because both the parties aren’t ready to meet mid-way. Please do. Take a step ahead, and watch the difference. My mom and I still have our differences. We fight too, and then we just hug each other and cry. The trust of your parents goes a long, long way in every single aspect of your life. Believe in it.

Let’s work towards making the world a better place, and let’s start by making our homes a better and compassionate place.

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